Therapy for Complex and Relational Trauma

Not all trauma comes from one terrible event. For many folks, it built up slowly: growing up in a home that felt unsafe or unpredictable, being hurt by the people who were supposed to look after you, or living for a long time in a relationship where you had to stay on guard. This kind of trauma often doesn't look like what people expect, and it can take years to recognise it for what it is.

What it can feel like

It might show up as feeling on edge, even when you know you're safe. Or shutting down, going numb, or feeling far away from yourself when things get too much. You might find yourself reacting in ways that seem out of proportion and then feeling ashamed afterward. Maybe relationships feel complicated in ways you can't quite explain: you want closeness, but closeness also feels risky.

Some people remember clearly what happened to them. Others have only fragments, or a sense that something wasn't right without being able to say what. You don't need a clear story for therapy to help.

How I work with trauma

My trauma work draws on the somatic and body-based training of my UK formation with CCPE, and on a year-long certificate in Integrative Trauma Studies through the National Institute for the Psychotherapies in New York, which brought together relational, body-based and depth-oriented approaches. I also draw on AEDP, MBT, and psychodynamic therapy.

In practice, I will invite you to notice what your body is doing and what your mind remembers, and to slow down enough so that difficult feelings can be felt with someone alongside you, rather than alone. We don't rush towards the hardest memories. Feeling safe enough comes first, and we go at a pace that suits you.

Because this kind of trauma usually happened in relationships, the relationship between us matters too. It can become a place to experience something different: being taken seriously, being allowed to have your feelings, and finding that I'm still here afterward.

When a different approach would serve you better

I don't treat single-incident trauma, such as a car accident, an assault or a natural disaster, in someone whose life was otherwise relatively stable. EMDR is often a much better fit for that kind of trauma, and I'm happy to refer you to colleagues I trust who specialise in it.

Questions people often ask

Will I have to talk about what happened in detail?
No, not unless and until you want to. Much of this work focuses on how the past shows up in your life now, and on helping you feel steadier, rather than on retelling painful events.

How do I know if my trauma is "complex"?
You don't need to figure that out before getting in touch. If you're not sure whether what you've been through fits my work or would be better suited to EMDR, we can talk it through in a free consultation.

How long does trauma therapy take?
This is usually long-term work because it's about changing patterns that have developed over a long time. We'll review how things are going together along the way.

What if I'm in crisis?
I'm not a crisis service. If you're in crisis, please call or text 988, or call 911.